| Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 02:06 pm (no subject) |
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Today, I saw a young hawk die writhing on the ground. I walked out of a building and it was there, belly up, breathing and trying to get on its feet. It eventually flipped itself, but it couldn't move and could only sat there on the ground, wings spread, breathing hard. I went to find the vet department's number but couldn't, and when I got back half an hour later the ants were already there. It's not a pretty experience.
It's even worse when you can't do anything to the poor bird because of one phrase : 'bird flu'. I don't know if it's related to that, or because of the high-voltage wires up above.
What does this have to do with fiction? Well, this being a nonsensical rant and all----very little, save for the fact that I should probably berate myself for thinking 'Hawkeye deathfic!'
And it's kinda ironic, considering a Hawkeye deathfic is about the very first thing I wrote for FMA---happening around two months after it's listed in the newspaper casualties list, having everyone's perspective except Roy's (even a crippled Havoc, which is an amazing coincidence with the benefit of hindsight), since I wanted to explore the effects of an integral person's death to someone by examining the changes wrought in the world and from the world's perspective. Needless to say, it blows.
I still want to give it a rewrite one of these days. I mean, Roy has a LOT of deathfics where he dies and either Riza or Ed is left to angst. I think it's terribly unfair, in a sense, she's as integral to the Gunbu's mental health as Roy. The space, or non-space, in this case, should be interesting to see.
Pardon the self-indulgent rant. I'm trying to take my mind off plotting and back to studying. |
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